Divorce FAQ's
Facts About Divorce
Facts About Divorce With Children
Divorce Related Items

Q: How long is the divorce process?
A: A divorce, if contested, frequently takes 6 months or longer from the time your spouse is served (legally notified) with the documents. The minimum time is 30 days.

Q: Do my spouse and I both have to hire attorneys?
A: No. You may certainly want to hire an attorney for a consultation, and to represent your each individual interests. In an uncontested divorce, both parties allow an attorney to draft the settlement agreement previously agreed to by the parties.

Q: Do we necessarily need to have an attorney at all?
A: Yes, it is recommended. After the initial consultation, you may need the attorney to handle your case, and to represent you on any issues not previously agree to.

Q: Am I required to go to court?
A: No, if you and your spouse can reach an amicable settlement agreement. Often times, when the parties have worked out their own settlement, the agreement is signed and notarized by each party and submitted to the court without a personal appearance. If, on the other hand, you and your spouse cannot reach an amicable settlement through this process, you may need to appear in court where the judge will decide the contested issues.

Q: Should I move out of the marital residence?
A: Be sure to consult with an attorney before leaving the marital residence. Leaving the home is typically defined as actually taking personal items with you (clothing, automobile, sentimental possessions, etc.) and acting as though you are going to declare a new residence for a significant amount of time, and may be looked upon as abandonment.

Q: How do I obtain a divorce?
A: Before filing for divorce, you should decide if this is the right decision for you. It is important to realize that the road is sometimes very long and can be a difficult one to travel. Initially, a complaint is drafted. This includes the reasons for the divorce and the relief the court is asked to grant. After the spouse is served with the complaint, he/she will normally have 30 days in which to file an answer.

Q: What if I do not want a divorce?
A: The law does not require spouses to remain married. Divorce is not a decision that needs to be reached overnight, especially where children are involved.

Q: Can child support be modified?
A: Making changes to an existing child support order is not uncommon. Alabama law allows a child support modification where there is a 10% differential in what is currently being paid by the noncustodial parent. In most cases, support is set as required in Alabama statutory guidelines.

Q: Can I deny my ex-spouse visitation?
A: Unless the court has denied visitation with the noncustodial parent, you can not and should not deny visitation! Denying visitation is one of the biggest mistakes made by most custodial parents. You may believe you have a justifiable reason for denying the visitation, but by law, you are not permitted to do so.

Q: How do I get custody of my child(ren)?
A: The first and most important step to getting custody of your child(ren) is to be a great parent and to be honest. Being a great parent is not always the easiest task during divorce, but it is important to acknowledge each and every action concerning the divorce and how it may or may not effect the child(ren). Remember, even during the divorce process, put the children first. Under Alabama law, the mother and father are both presumed to possess equal parenting skills, and no priority is given to either parent in establishing physical custody of the minor children.

Q: What if I do not agree with the court’s decision?
A: The purpose of the settlement agreement is to establish what exactly should be stated in the Final Divorce Decree. Once the attorneys have drafted the Settlement Agreement and it has been approved by both parties, it will be presented to the judge to be incorporated into the Final Order. Post-trial motions and appeal are always options where one party disagrees with the court’s equitable distribution of the marital assets.

 Q: What is fair spousal support or alimony?
A: If you and your spouse can not reach an agreement on the amount of spousal support to be paid, the length of time, and the conditions of payment, the court may set the amount of alimony and include it in the final order. Alimony is monthly support meant to continue the standard of living a spouse is accustomed to since the marriage began. Alimony can be awarded in a marriage of only 3 years, and may include things other than monthly monetary support.

60% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. 67 to 75% of all divorces are initiated by the female partner: 74 to 80% of unilateral (non-mutual) divorces. (Percentages vary only slightly from the US to Australia to Germany and from study to study.)

No gender difference in the number of divorce filings appears for grounds of violence (6% of filings), "exploitation" (one contributing more than receiving - 20%), or adultery. "The question of custody absolutely swamps all the other variables. Children are the most important asset in a marriage, and the partner who expects to get sole custody is by far the most likely to file for divorce." Women are much more willing to divorce because they rarely fear losing custody of the children. Usually it gives them control over them. "If you remove that distortion, it's apt to change the way men and women relate to each other and to their kids. Fathers are likely to spend more time with kids if they can expect to still see them after the divorce is final. Women will be more likely to see men as parenting partners, and less likely to use divorce as a power play."

U.S. states with high levels of joint custody (> 30% of divorces) have significantly lower divorce rates four years later. Their four-year decline in divorce rates is double that of states with medium levels of joint custody arrangements (10 - 30%), and over four times that of states having low levels of joint custody (< 10%).

If you and your spouse are not getting along very well at times, consider these facts for a moment:

• Half of marriages in the United States will end in divorce (1997).
• Divorce is higher when a marriage is preceded by a premarital pregnancy or out-of-wedlock birth
• Divorce goes down during economic hardship for a couple
• Couples who live together prior to marriage experience greater dissatisfaction afterwards
• Due to early divorce and the decreased likelihood today of staying married “for the sake of the children,” younger children are more and more likely to be affected.
• 50% of all children from divorced families are more likely to have difficulties
• Children may also be very damaged by their parent’s bad marriage; their school work may suffer, as well as self-esteem, increased anger, depression, and self-blame, conflicts with authority, and their own ability to have a good marriage (role modeling and family systems)
• About 38% of all couples divorce within four years of marriage; this probably represents for many a breakdown in the marriage and separation within the first two years.
• A divorce lawyer once said that five years after a divorce many clients have told him, “If I’d only known how hard divorce is, I would have tried harder the first time.”
• Divorce is likely to be followed by remarriage (5 of 6 men remarry within 1-3 years; 3 out of 4 divorced women remarry; women stay single 5 years or more before remarriage; many decide they won’t marry again), but unless the issues of the previous marriage are dealt with problems will continue.

Facts about Children of Divorce

Children with divorced parents are more likely to exhibit signs of early disengagement from school than children from intact families.

One possible reason for lower academic achievement is a diminution in income in the custodial parent's household. For example, income differences account for between 30 and 50 percent of the overall difference in high school graduation rates among children from two parent and single parent households.

Children who move frequently do not receive specialized educational services, nor do they receive the individual attention they may need from teachers in order to identify gaps in their knowledge.

The psychological effect of divorce on children fades within three years but academic performance continues to decline.

Children from divorced families have a high risk of becoming divorced.

Divorce related terms

Child Support
An amount of money under a court or administrative order that is due and owed by the non-custodial parent for the support of the parent's child(ren).

Divorce agreement
A divorce agreement spells out the terms of the divorce and the relationship between the two spouses after the divorce. These agreements usually cover property division, child custody and child plans, debt division, spousal support, and any other relevant issues related to the divorce.

Temporary alimony
A type of alimony payment that is made to one spouse pending separation or divorce proceedings.

Supervised visitation
A form of visitation in which an adult supervisor must be present when the child is visiting with the non-custodial parent.

Domestic Violence Petition
This form serves as your application for a protective order. After obtaining this from the clerk of court, then completing and returning, it will be reviewed by a judge.

Custodial parent
The parent who has physical custody of the children.

Mediation
A non-adversarial process in which a neutral third party acts to encourage and help disputing parties reach a mutually acceptable agreement. May not be a good option when domestic violence is present.

Abandonment
When a parent leaves a child without enough care, supervision, support, or parental contact for an excessive period of time.

Residual Physical Custodial Rights
A custody agreement when one parent is awarded visitation by a pre-arranged schedule worked out between the parents or the courts.

Uncontested Divorce
A divorce where both parties are able to make a mutually agreed-upon arrangement.